Saturday, October 24, 2009
So I am having lunch with The Grimm Reaper...
Well...not really. Was more like a quick snack.
SIDETRACK: I am in excruciating back pain today....3 days in a row. What better way to get me to sit and finish up on my heart attack thingie.
I used to watch this show called "The Grimm Adventures Of Billy And Mandy" that I thought was quite funny and very well written. The premise was that Mandy won a contest against Grimm over a sick hamster, by doing the Limbo, and now he has to be her and Billy's friend to do all of her bidding for all eternity. Click the title above and see Grimm face his own hospital adventure!
Well..I had no sick hamster with me while being tended to by the very professional staff trying to keep me alive. The talents and experience of the team's members were certainly a formidable barrier to Grimm. So...even if I had a hamster, I would not have needed it to deny him my soul. And, no, if I did have a hamster with me it would not have been kept where you all are thinking!
UPDATE: Since his show has been canceled on Cartoon Network, Grimm has reached out to his pals in the Obama Administration, offering his insights and experiences as a consultant on The Public Option for National Health Care Reform . He also wants to be the "Death Panel Czar". He calls that "Job Security".
But I digress....
So I am now wheeled into the CCU and told not to move at all, especially my right leg, for hours. And I complied quite willingly. What I did miss was my laptop and cell phone. The phone was with me, but very little power left.
SIDETRACK: When I tried to dial 911 while on my back in the throes of agony, my phone kept asking me to push some other buttons. Well..with my glasses somewhere in my vicinity but not on my face, and because said buttons could not become apparent to me, I could not connect with the police. And until I pressed either of those buttons, the phone was locked from making any other calls.
Really slick there, Sprint! Maybe I should switch to where they can "hear me now"!
While I am trying to call my son to ask him to bring me certain items from the van....as well as get my lottery tickets (hey, I just survived a heart attack!! I figured I was lucky.)...in walks Nurse Ratcheted. Well, that really isn't her name and she certainly was not as passive/aggressive sinister as the one in the movie, but the nick name mostly fits.
First words out of her mouth..
"NO CELL PHONES!!!!"
The next words..
She wires me up...does the basics...BP....temp....color of my skin and feet....and then leaves.
I call my son on my cell, and ask him to bring the charger for the phone and my laptop.
All the while keeping perfectly still. Especially my right leg.
I tried using the laptop while in a 99% horizontal position, but it was not easily done. So I just amused myself by surfing around. Patiently waiting until I could resume an upright position and not have to be so still.
Nurse Ratched leaves for the night and I am typing away like nobody's business. I think it was at that time, I posted the video of my stent insertion...
(The hamster just popped into your heads when you read "insertion...I just know it did!)
...but with different music than I ultimately used. And found my way on to the various websites and chat spots I haunt.
(You all just thought of Grimm, huh?)
And over the course of the evening, I was checked on..poked for blood....BP done...and no one scolded me for using the laptop.
That is until "she" arrived back at work. One of the overnighters snitched on me. And she again told me NO USING THOSE ITEMS.
I said, "Sign me out, NOW" and got up to leave...
She said I was threatening. I said I was promising...please hand me my pants.
She left in a huff.
I also immediately took notice of the change in my proscribed diet when lunch came. Real coffee, salt...meat...butter. I began to suspect that I was in much better shape than I thought.
I would be moved out of CCU....much to her and my mutual relief. But not until she got to poke me one last time. I offered to let her make it hurt to make up for my confrontation with her.
She said that wouldn't be enough to make up for me breaking the rules. I think her thing is more obeying period, rather than the rules themselves.
I didn't even feel the needle going in.
Next.....moving into the PCU....