Thursday, May 30, 2013

What I Learned From Lenny Bruce....

...well at least the movie version of his life!

A: That Bob Fosse was truly an American treasure. And Dustin Hoffman is brilliant.
B. Definition of a "Schmuck" : Someone who gets out of the shower to pee.
C. That using "Blah Blah" in the place of expected naughty words was REALLY funny!

SIDETRACK: When I was singing in night clubs for a living, one band I was with, "Triffid", did a song by Paul McCartney called "Smile Away". In the middle of the song I would engage the audience and get'em to sing along with me. Well, one night I came up with this whole rap about farts. What it boiled down to was:

1. You came to the club to hopefully meet someone.
2. You'd been indulging in adult beverage of an effervescent nature.
3. Hopefully accompany that person to the local diner...this was New Jersey, after all.
4. And while finally being able to talk in a normal volume, you...the male...realized, right in the middle of the diner and booth.... you had to fart.

And I would go on to describe the varieties of flatulence one could count on.

It was a BIG fav of our fans.

However, one night we played a club owned by this really uptight ex high school football coach who took exception to that word....fart. Called our management the next day and said we would never play the club again, it I performed it once more that night.

So...instead I used..."blah"!

It was a hit with those who had heard the song before, and those new to us, got it anyway.

Worked for Lenny. Me...not so much. It was years before we played that club again.

But I digress....

4. How not to flame out in to an ember.

Lenny was arrested over and over for obscenity across the nation. In many ways he is responsible for the broader definition of The First Amendment we enjoy today. Just because he was vulgar, doesn't mean he didn't fall on the sword and allow things we like today, such as,  the free flow of information, opinion, and debate. Like on the internet.

In the last years of his life and career, Lenny took to reading the transcripts of his trials in comedy clubs, instead of doing comedy.


My postings as of late have been, by and large, maudlin...depressing...a bit self indulgent with a dash of pity...

I used to come here, write stuff in an attempt try to be funny, observant, clever...etc.

No so for quite some time. And I need to change that. Not just for you, but myself as well.

Of course I'll post when something goes amiss, but certainly in a different fashion that I have been. No one likes a whiner, most of all your humble narrator.

So expect some announcements of projects I have been developing and progress in becoming a Texas for real.

Yeah, my lungs suck now. It is what it is. But I have other parts to my anatomy, and that includes my Heart. I need to spend more time talking to it. It still sees a nice future.

Here's hoping!

Until next time.....

Monday, May 27, 2013

Like A Strike Out Of The Blue....

....I had another attack last night. One of the kind that orders my bladder to shrink itself in a way it knows best, regardless a facility to do so neatly!

It's like being a fish out of water. I am gasping, getting little clutches of air, and mentally telling myself not to panic, because that only makes things a LOT worse.

Fortunately, last week I had the $5.00 co-pay and picked up my Prednisone so it could be on hand. You aren't supposed to do this, but I chewed it so it would work much faster. Good thing I did, because I am convinced I'd have passed out and maybe stopped breathing at all, had it not kicked in and reduced the swelling of my lungs. And we all know what that can lead to. Good timing for me that I got Baptized last Sunday.

I had a sense this was coming. Saturday breathing was labored but not drastically. Sunday morning I almost didn't make it to Church because it was getting much harder to breathe. So when nighttime arrived and it was coming on strong, I was taken aback but not surprised.

On the shelter front, things have nosed dived. Recent situations with a couple of other guys here.....addicts...that stayed in the house have started to come down on my head. Both were kicked out, finally, but I find myself left in the wake. I was made to unplug from the electric, thus losing my A.C., thus losing cleaned air.

SIDETRACK: I sleep in the van because it's a lot easier to get stuff done online with all my stuff in one place. Plus, this guy doesn't use utilities like heat and A.C. at all. With minimal devices I can heat and cool in here, as well. I should note he is Tongan and has a different take on many things.

He has a WAY overinflated view on what it costs for me to be here. Granted, it's not free, but for the amount of time I am parked and using power it's about $.89 cents a day. A shower costs 0.0040 each time. To him that's enormous. His point of view regards my choices are breathe air like him, go to the hospital, or leave here. (He likes to sleep outside) I do that and I have another BIG bill on my back that I can ill afford. (No pun intended)

SIDETRACK: I am not living a life of leisure here. I do a number of things for him, and help physically where I can. My abilities, physical labor wise, are no doubt compromised. I have been writing material for applications he is making for permits and such.

Bottom line...I need to come up with some funds. Not just for here, but $65.00 for medicine co-pays. The co-pays I need by tomorrow, or the stuff goes back to the central pharmacy of the H.M.O. I am blessed to be enrolled in. It will take another 4 days for it all to be resent to where I pick things up.

I do have some lighter stories to write about, and one in particular that's was kinda sad. However, my mind is reeling trying to get my ducks at least in the same neighborhood, let alone in a row.

Oh...I had a 3 week bout with gastro olympics and have about 2 months of laundry to do. I am discovering a certain "freedom" from lack of clean underwear.

Thus, today is all about fund raising via the generosity of others and seeking out day gigs I am capable of doing. Wish me luck, please, and Pray for me. If anyone wants to help, time is an issue. Best way would be a MoneyGram via C.V.S. or Walmart.  You can email confirmation via:

I will need it!

Hopefully next time I can write like I used to. We'll see.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

May 19th, 2013

My very first Baptism in Grapevine Lake, Texas.! I felt different immediately.

Will post soon....

Hoping you all are having a GREAT and SAFE Memorial Day Weekend. Keep in mind what's being commemorated!

Monday, May 6, 2013


Last week began with pressure on my chest. As much as I tried on Sunday, I couldn't make it to services. Wound up spending that day, and a few following, with my face in an Air Conditioner for cold, filtered air. I reached out to my ;Pulmonary guy and to this moment still have not heard back.

By Tuesday it had become unbearable and found myself, once again, gasping for every breath. I couldn't walk from one end of The Sovereign Conversion Van Of Wonders to the other without having to stop for a few minutes to try and catch my breath. Twice the spasms  put so much pressure on my body, I lost control of my bladder twice.

I really did not want to go to the E.R.!

I made my way to the clinic that I get meds with a co-pay from to see if the doctor there would see me and hopefully give me a prescription for Prednisone. Despite my VERY obvious distress, he refused both requests. Instead telling me through his nurse to go to an E.R. or the urgent care place they run some 40 miles away.

SIDETRACK: I do NOT want to appear to diss the health plan I have been blessed with. This doctor and I do not seem on the same page. I requested, and was given, a different Physician and I see her this coming Wednesday.

Left that facility and stopped by a CVS where I bought liquid Ibruprofen and allergy meds. The Ibru is an anti-inflammatory, thus hopefully would reduce the swelling of my lungs. The allergy meds, because I had a hunch.

On the way back to where I am parked, I stopped at the hospital I was rushed to 3 times in the last 6 months to get the CD of my X-Rays and Radiologist's report. I didn't get but 20 feet and they had to put me in a wheel chair. I wound up being driven to the department and out to my vehicle.

It was not pleasant at all.

Anyhow, I started using the Ibru as well as my inhalers which brought some relief. The next day I took the allergy med and noticed a decent amount of relief. My hunch played out. Thing is, when I saw the Pulmonary guy on the 24th, I was in a good amount of distress walking to the building and down the hall. About 40 minutes into the visit they ran a test to see how much oxygen I was getting in my blood. I had to walk up and down a corridor at a brisk pace for six and a half minutes. As I rounded each time by the nurse, I had to show her the reading on the meter I carried. It never went below 90, which is good. Here's the kicker....

I wasn't all that winded when I got done! It felt no more that if I was out of shape and a bit take aback. Without question, I am lacking some exercise given what I deal with. But what really surprised me was how I was not on the floor gasping.

At that point I figured allergies were aggravating, thus irritating my lungs to the point of being swollen. Hence, the allergy med.

My breathing right now is still no where perfect. Being out in the open as it were, the Loratadine is helpful but not quite enough to get me as stable as possible. But that's not my only problem...

A dear friend in New Jersey PayPal'd me some funds to pay for my auto insurance.I wound up having to use a good amount on meds and gas, plus my Spiriva script which I pick up today with a $20.00 co-pay.

I also eat, sometimes. I keep it to one meal a day for two reasons:

A: Not much space inside me right now, thus keeping pressure off of my lungs.
B: Don't want to spend the money.

I got myself a decent meal, figuring my body is weakened from not eating enough, thus had to do something.

So now I have to be out and about "fundraising" and do the best I can. I have until the 11th to pay Progressive. I am still waiting on my appeal to Disability.

There is a new to me med I read about called Zymessence that's an enzyme based anti-inflammatory. The steroid based ones, over time, do bad stuff to the body. and given my experiences, I know I need something to keep my lungs quelled on a regular basis. Everything I have read about this stuff has been positive.

We'll see....

By the next time I post I should have some news about an opportunity that may be available for me to earn some money. Don't want to say too much..but it could be big!

Anyhow...thanks for your prayers and good wishes.

Until next time....