Saturday, November 27, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
The night was tough. No heat, VERY little gas for the van, and the dead generator mocking me.
The looming auction of all my stuff.
The up coming holiday season I won't be a part of.
Then a couple of things happened.
The other homeless guy stopped by and bought me a pack of smokes. O.K....craving handled.
Then sometime later a very nice woman approaches my driver's side window and asks...
"How's your generator?"
I say...it's kaput.
She says...let us buy you a new one!
Outta the blue!
Seems she has been following your humble narrator's ramblings here and saw my dilemma last evening. Thus, she and her husband, with two little daughters in tow, drove me to buy my new power source. PLUS...a new 5 gal. gas can and filled it with gas!
Life can turn on a dime. Or in this case a sizable amount of green.
This gen is awesome. 4K watts....MUCH quieter than the prior one. With the extra wattage I can run pretty much everything in the Conversion Van Of Wonders at once. Outstanding!
Don't get me wrong, the other gen was a HUGE benefit for me. And the prior Angel who bought it for me gave me a lot of comfort and safety by my having it. My eternal gratitude and a God Bless to her and her's for helping me last spring. Helluva a woman!
And now this new family has my same wishes. God Bless and undying gratefulness. Right now I am sipping coffee I made while leaving the heater on and the laptop up and running, with a 100Watt lamp lighting my way.
So to the family who helped out this humble narrator a B I G Thank You along with my, and I am sure my faithful reader's, wishes for an absolutely outstanding Christmas Holiday Season.
Here I was already to do myself a turn. I even picked out the color of the rope. "Blue" as in Blue State. I figured since the Blue State types were strangling the country and The Constitution, blue rope should offer a complimentary purpose to moi as well.
The rope is still buried somewhere in the back of the van.
I almost, ALMOST, feel like fighting back again. Trying to do something, anything, to avoid losing my stuff to strangers next Saturday. Something that does not involve my expiration.
More on that later....
So for now, I am warm, online, and feeling a whole lot calmer....and blessed.
Thanks again to that generous beyond measure family. You made a big difference in this boy's life!
And as for the movie the girls were watching in the back of the car. Old Man Sanders would have gotten away with it, if it had not been for those meddling brats!
(I hope that doesn't ruin the ending.)
Until next time.....
The generator died. It appears to have siezed up and, with that, goes my heat and ability to be mostly self contained.
Then the car battery was dead...but a nice guy gave me a jump start.
The "Signs" are are all adding up. Is it really any wonder I am planning on hanging myself?
I have less that 1/4 tank of gas to get through the night. I am using an inverter to get online for a little bit,
Then that's it!
So if any of you pray or focus energy....please implore God to finally take me.
Or does God only help those who help themselves?
Will certainly know on or just before the 4th of December.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Yesterday Bob The Van Eating Dog went off to live with his new folks. People with 3 age proper kids...BIG yard...and lots of care and love. Here's a picture of Bob doing the "Idiot Check" to see if he left anything behind:
Here he is, all packed and waiting for the new family to arrive.
All in all, he has been a real trooper. And in some ways I am sorry to see him leave, but it's for the greater good. It is much better for him to be in a house than a van....evan if a Conversion Van Of Wonders.
So, God Bless Bob and may he and his family have an absolutely wonderful Thanksgiving together!
For moi....sadly quiet in here.
It is what it is.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
The nice young lady who stopped by 2 days ago, came back again with this for your fav dog and mine, Bob. Had some encouraging words regards his possible adoption.
Let's keep hoping!
Until next time....
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
The McRib Saves Lives!
O.K....full disclosure time. Since Sunday, 9 P.M. I have eaten:
6 Hostess Vanilla "Zingers"
4 Tastee Cake "Vanilla Lovers" Cupcakes
A young man from the now deceased pizzeria stopped by Camp Scooter-South and brought me one these. I lost all control and devoured it, savoring every last messy morsel!
When you buy a McRib, an Angel gets it's wings!
I just went over to get a cup of coffee during their "Any Size Coffee $1.00" deal. I have a mug I use that has traveled near and far with me for some 20 years. I had 3, one got lost, the other hidden somewhere in The Conversion Van Of Wonders.
I go to the condiment/soda fountain area and put in my cream and sugar, as is my want to do before pouring said Java. I take the well traveled mug and place it on the counter to order a, presumably, large coffee.
This is where it turns a tad unpleasant!
This manager type who obviously enjoys McDonald's food far more than I gives me this....look. A not very friendly....look. I order the coffee and he mutters "large coffee" as he seemingly, reluctantly presses appropriate buttons on the cash register.
I hand the mug over to a very nice young lady who takes it to the coffee pot to pour in said Java. As she starts this manager type says to her it's a large coffee.
I figure no big deal.
She brings the mug to me and I ask her if she would fill it all the way up, maybe was an 1/8 of an inch from the top. She smiled, and said sure...and went back to the pot. Faster than a White Castle Slider passes through your system, said manager type goes to mildly scold her that next time she should take a large McDonald's cup, fill it with coffee so as to measure the amount of said Java received by moi. Suffice to say, he had an attitude and tone!
SIDETRACK: Ray Crock's widow (Ray is the one who made this chain what it is today. He didn't create it, but bought it from 2 brothers and had a vision) is an uber progressive! For quite sometime I would not purchase food there, as she has this thing about funding progressive causes and candidates. Needless to say, she pushes "Green" on the franchise. No paper towels, only blowers. Recycled napkins and cardboard food containers.
Obviously said manager type didn't get that memo. He would waste a paper coffee cup in order to avoid an 1/8 of an inch of said Java from reaching my lips! I am by NO means a Green type. I hug no trees nor do I endorse that Climate Change fraud. Truth be told, I put my "Carbon Footprint" up Al Gore's Ass! But waste is waste...so why do it.
Then in an accent thicker than a "Wendy's Big Frosty" muttered something about needing to get his pay check, meaning, that 1/8 of an inch of coffee was going to deny his family the means of survival.
I think he just doesn't like homeless guys!
He obviously is not from these here parts, as the accent was certainly Hispanic in nature. Now before ANYONE accuses me of racism or prejudice, here are couple of facts!
I grew up with migrant workers and their kids when I lived in between two farms in Joliet, Ill. We all played together...ate together...were always welcome in my home. The owner of the deceased pizzeria immigrated here from Honduras and became a part of my extended family. And during this homeless adventure I am on, Hispanics have been a generous and supportive group to me here at Camp Scooter-South. I have never seen harder working people in my life.
I do admit to not liking Mexican food at all. To me it smells like feet, and I like my beans cooked right the FIRST time! I also admit to approving of deportation of ANYONE here illegally and a strong, secure border both South and North.
(Like how I avoided the..."Why some of my best friends are..." sandpit?)
But I digress....
More than irking my liver, I found this kind of amusing. I mean, this guy actually stated that my wee bit-O-coffee was going to impact his personal bottom line. The Kindly Widow Crock probably donates to any number of homeless focused charities.
I have no doubt this guy is a solid employee and earns every penny he is paid. I give him credit for learning the language and, if he has children, is most likely old school in wanting them to have a better life than he. I would encourage him to bring to mind from time to time those who guided, helped, encouraged, and gave him a break or two along the way. Karma can be a lover or a bitch...you chose for her.
I like McD's Java better than most. CERTAINLY better that Starbucks! And there is no doubt regards my devotion and worship to the All Powerful McRib. I believe in Happy Meals and voted for Mayor McCheese. Ronald is the only clown, next to Emmett Kelly, I don't find scary.
I am enjoying said Java as I type this, and back on track with my food austerity program.
Until next time.....
P.S. Posted using McD's Free WiFi! Thanks, Kind Widow Crock.
Monday, November 15, 2010
...but it felt right at the time.
Here's the deal, in case you are interested.
I have pretty much given up. I exist simply to exist...to survive. What little delusion of "Hope" I had accumulated over the course of time evaporated February of 2009 and any fresh "Hope" has yet to find it's way to me or me to it. The image I chose for the preceding entry was not simply a broken heart. (That's in too many pieces to restore.) It was the overall image, the flag of surrender in a broken body and a soul that is simply quite tired.
I know...wah wah wah...the WAHmbulance is coming. Pity party and all that...get it out of your system in the comments section. I figure this will be more appealing to the morbidly curious types.
I, in all sincerity, have tried. I really have. I had a young man tell me the other evening, quite sincerely, that I loved life way too much.
If he only knew.
Less than an hour so after saying that, crap starts all over again. Reality sinks in...
I got the results from the neuro guy regards my brain and it's not so good. Seems I had some mini strokes and that the capillaries leading deep into my grey matter are hardening and thickening. My main arteries seem swell..but that's a double edged sword. Should Mr. Plaque decide to go spelunking in the deepest most recesses of my mind and gets stuck, my ability to speak is pretty much kaput.
This, I believe, is a progressive disease, much like the Obama regime.
So I have halted all medical stuff, but for the stroke prevention measures, thus passing the savings on to you, the taxpayer. A debilitating brain attack would be a new kind of hell for me. I need my faculties in order to follow my path.
Then I got the call about my stuff in storage. It goes to auction on December 4th. Everything that says "I was here"...all my interests, passions, hobbies, etc. will be sold to the highest bidder who most likely will toss the personal stuff (unless it's one of them there nosey, snoopy types) and sell off or keep for themselves my collections, past presents, mementos.
The ever mentioned "Final Straw".
SIDETRACK: Before anyone wants to disparage the storage place, the woman there has tried to work with me on all this. I am simply without resource nor tools to alter the finale.
So why hang around to see that happen? Things are adding up to my conclusion. I had 2 opportunities to let this transpire over the last 14 months. The first shot was Oct. 5th when I had my successful heart attack. I held off any help for a long time and only caved in when the thought of my oldest son watching me die in front of him popped in my head. Then I had 911 called into action.
The 2nd was my go 'round with diverticulitis. The intense pain I was suffering made me cave in to going to the E.R. and letting them have a go at me. If I had gone on one more day, they said, it would have ruptured and Peritonitis would have moved me to my condo in the sky with a view and Triple Play FiOS.
I had planned for today, Monday Nov. 15th, to be the day I start working in earnest of my personal "Kolinar". (google it)
To stop eating.
Focus on my direction.
Let go what hinders me.
SIDETRACK: I had actually planned on begining this a while ago, but McDonald's brought back The McRib! Now it can be said: McRib Saves Lives!
As I go through this emo-dump, I am surprised at what I am finding affects and moves me. Who knew? Certainly not me! One of the odd effects is not being able to watch this season of "House, M.D." because of 5 words Dr. Huddy let fly at the end of last season's finale.
Go figure. Anyhow.....
The signposts are all there:
My solitary source of nourishment closed it's doors yesterday. It was not only my eatery, it was a sort of home. The proprietor and his family all but adopted me. His younger son gave me a memento and started sobbing as the doors were closing and I took my leave. The littlest one was falling asleep as I got to say goodbye.
It was sad, no doubt. Closest situation I will ever have of being a Grandpa.
I'll miss the games of "Slapjack".
My diverticulitis is acting up significantly. When I was hospitalized with it this past spring, I was not allowed to eat or drink anything for nearly 7 days. Thus, fasting now even under the best of times, would be called for.
I also find myself thinking about what I'll miss, post 98.6:
Billary splitting the DNC into shards when she challenges Barry for the Presidential nod in 2012!
Going to Disneyworld as an adult, not a parent, with a significant other of the female variety on my arm. Then later, back at the room, she dresses up to look like my dream girl, Arielle, confesses that Prince Eric is actually gay, only loved her for her voice until someone played Judy Garland for him, and now spends all his time with his man servant in The Study listening to Judy belt out show tunes! (I mean, c'mon. Did you see the sequel. He wouldn't even get his toes wet to save his daughter!)
And she craves a REAL MAN!
I am dressed up like John Smith from "Pocahontas". The images are endless!
(Yeah, I know Mel Gibson voiced John Smith. But my imaginary s.o. is neither Russian nor bears me any offspring)
If the N.Y. Jets go to The Superbowl. They are on F I R E this season!
Traveling in Ireland, England, and making faces at The French.
The capture of bin laden.
The conviction and imprisonment of Charlie Rangel and Maxine Waters.
The Inauguration of President Palin with V.P. Bobby Jindal at her side.
The imagination spins.......
I had hoped to be out of this area by today, the writings on the Conversion Van Of Wonders window scrubbed so as to not be so recognizable, as well as altering my appearance. I am obligated to my friend who is between driving privileges for a bit yet, so I will be roaming about New Jersey.
But right now my auto insurance is lapsed and I am stuck. How is that an issue, you may ask...
I get caught driving without insurance, my vehicle is confiscated, Bob The Van Eating Dog is in a shelter or worse, and my goals thwarted. Doesn't fit in with my plans.
As for Bob....
He will hopefully be found by someone who can take him in. As I play this all out in my head, the saddest part is leashing him to a pole with a note explaining his current state of affairs. I'd have to say that chokes me up the most. I will probably be an absolute puddle when it comes to pass. As much as he has driven me crazy, he has been a real trooper through all of this. If you happen to be the one who finds him, know you are keeping company with a VERY special dog!
"SIGNS" SIDETRACK: Subsequent to typing all of this, a girl stopped by concerned about Bob. After talking for a bit, it turns out she may have a friend who is looking for an older dog.
(Wow..another Mel Gibson reference!)
Now, before anyone figures they are gonna "rescue" me, know this. You come to visit, we can enjoy each others company and shoot the shit for a while. However, if I sense for a heartbeat your intentions are what would be considered conventionally honorable, I will bid you adieu and close my door in a New York minute. I will also FINALLY post about this guy I met and the group he belongs to y'all quote almost daily.
As much as I appreciate the sentiment, I will decline any and all Thanksgiving invitations, as I have turned down 4 already. Not doing Christmas either. I celebrate the birth of Christ, no doubt, but "holidays" to me represent a false promise of hope. If you are inclined to share your tables and festivities, check with your nearest military installation about an Adopt-A-Serviceperson program. Many have such programs for service people stuck where they are and away from home for the holidays. Also, food banks are SCREAMING for donations this year, thanks to Obama's "Summer Of Recovery" success. Please keep them and other food drives on your radar.
Who knows, I may wind up changing my perspective due to some divine inspiration and intervention and feel like a complete idiot for posting any of this. However, that seems really unlikely.
Emotionally: I am all but numb and dead already.
Spiritually: I pray daily to be called home.
Practicalities: What Obama and his ilk and regime have done, and are doing, to this nation make any foreseeable improvement in things impossible. The "Tea Party" election was great! And at some point, there will be improvement. Thing is, Barry is not as savvy as Slick Willie was. Bill saw the writing on the wall and would sign what Newt and the folks sent him. Obama is too mired in his own fantasies, delusions, and ego. He is a no talent thug ideologue that is not really that smart, whose his strings are pulled by Soros and progressive special interests.
Sage words from a guy who lives in a van! Not just any van, though! The Conversion Van Of Wonders!
Bah...it's still just a van.
Until next time....
Monday, November 8, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Thanks in advance
From The Poster:
Lost 11/2/10 on Flanders-Netcong Rd., Flanders Golden Retriever mix, red collar
Very skittish, please do not chase.
Please call us ASAP with sightings.
$$ REWARD for her safe return
NOTE: The image is not the best. Hopefully I can get just a pic from seeker and replace what you see below.
"Jane is a dog I've been fostering for about 2.5 weeks. She very skittish and was just getting used to having us touch her. We believe she was owned by an older man who passed away. Based on the way she acted, I don't believe she was socialized with people, not even really with her owner. She shies away from being touched. She would only eat once a day even when I gave her food more often. She would not take treats though we did manage to have her eat pieces of chicken occassionally."