Sunday, August 29, 2010

To Liberally Borrow From Walt Disney's "Pinochio"...

"Hi Diddly Dee, No 'Lectricity For Me"

My generator's Voltage Regulator went ka-blooey!!!! At first it was intermittent, then died altogether!

Sucks for moi.

Fortunately the part is only 30 bucks and all, but now I have no A.C. and the temps are hitting the 90's here again. Also no cooking and Internet is off the car engine, consuming gas like a drunken Buick!

The fun never stops here at Camp Scooter: South!

Until next time.....

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Before I Publish Another Crabby, Morbid, Or Depressing Post...

Who doesn't love puppies and kittens?!?!?

Ok..I should take some time to post things I am truly grateful for and blessed by.

To these little people who remind me nearly every day what innocence truly is:
(In alphabetical order with age)

Dylan 3
Issac (Momo) 3
Nevaeh 1.5
Stephanie 3

It's like being an Uncle again.....even a taste of being a grandparent. Gotta Love It!

Carlos!! Owner of Vincenzo's Pizzeria (Budd Lake 973-681-8282) for feeding me nearly every day and his family for being so terrific and welcoming.

The people who stop and talk with me and/or offer me some support on a daily basis.

SIDETRACK: To the very nice young lady who visited Pet Smart, I regret if I seemed kind of rushed the other day. Just a minute or so before you knocked on the door, I had completed my morning constitutional and was quite self conscious of any lingering....fragrance...from said activity.

Who doesn't love puppies and kittens with Santa?!?!?

For my Russian friend who helps almost daily with my life's blood, gasoline.

To those who truly care about my well being...thank you!

In airtime order:

Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and Mark Levin for fighting the good fight, keeping me entertained and informed.

To the "Home Of Falling Prices",,,thanks for your ongoing hospitality.

(Carlos' wife, Gina, just brought me a tuna sub with TONS of toppings!)

To McDonald's and Panera Bread for the Wifi....thanks.

To my intestines for being as cooperative as they have been.

The folks on Hanover Ave. and in Morristown for their efforts and support. Not forgetting Sister Catherine's as well.

And last but certainly no way least...God. Not sure what you are trying to show me, but I keep watching. I look forward to meeting you soon.

I am sure I am forgetting someone or something, but I can blame my dain bramage for that.

So there you go. No whining, no DNR, no dying rainbows.

Until next time...

Monday, August 23, 2010

The Passing Of A Rainbow

Innocence Gone.

As cars and people pass it by
If no one looks
A Rainbow dies
(Me August 22, 2010)

Watch at the end as the colors fade then come back.....fade then come back.....each time a bit more faded. The Rainbow's last gasp!

Saturday, August 21, 2010

The Fun Never Ends.....

My generator threw a clot before I have, but now I am dead in the water. It runs, but only generates AC for a short period of time, and the DC side of it is not powerful enough to drive my inverter.

My DNR bracelet can't come soon enough!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Exploit Everything!

I have a few expressions I like to call my own. Among them....

Why put off till tomorrow, what can wait till next year!
Nothing exceeds like excess!
And the above captioned Exploit Everything!

Not as sinister as it sounds. What I mean by it is, whatever tools, opportunities, attributes, etc. you are handed, use them to the max.

Exploit Everything!

Add to that a sermon I watched Jim Bakker give once called "Grow Where You Are Planted". It instantly made sense to me.

Well..I am currently "planted" in the parking lot of "The Home Of Falling Prices" and have just a few resources and attributes at my disposal. How do I "MacGyver" this into something profitable.

You'll see....

About a year and a half ago I was made, in no uncertain terms, aware of how unappealing I appear. The "what on earth is she doing with...him?!?!?" kind. The "dating down" kind. And giving my current state of affairs, I am approaching that gaunt, all but haunted look kind.

Quite unappealing!

SIDETRACK: Little Known Fact: My cheek bone structure is the inspiration for Skeletor from "He-Man And The Masters Of The Universe"!

Add to that my current adventure in homelessness.

Exploit Everything!

1st Idea:


The homeless construction materials of choice are cardboard and duct tape. But in these Obamanomic troubled economic times, fewer people seem to be buying major appliances, thus a a shortage of necessary stuff. But I persevere...

I would have a 5X5 foot piece of festively painted cardboard with a few holes cut in it for me to pop my head in and out of. Being homeless and unattractive, people would have a blast trying to bop me with a nerf something.

$5.00 For 1 Minute Playing Time

Yell At A Homeless Guy

What better way to vent than to let your inner seething no longer be silent and directed at an unappealing hobo you could care less about! My dain bramaged, Skeletor self will withstand all the abuse you want to hurl my way about any topic.

Growing Prostate Issues
The list is endless. No touching, hitting, spitting, or throwing stuff at the homeless guy.

$10.00 For 5 Minutes
An Extra $5.00 To Video and YouTube The Session

Exploit Everything!

I suppose I should get these ventures up and running soon. I have auto insurance due next week and need $600.00 for the brain doctor. So keep your eye out for my displays at The Home Of Falling Prices and have it!

P.T. Barnum would be proud of me! So would Joseph (Called John In The Movie)Merrick.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

They Grow Up SOOOO Fast, Don't They????

Back in the 70's I was a "follow my own path" kinda guy.

My friends wore bell bottom pants, I wore gong bottom pants.
If they wore turtle neck shirts. I wore the uncircumcised neck shirts that cover my face up to my nose, like that one odd kid in the Bazooka Joe funnies you got with the gum.

SIDETRACK: What was up with Bazooka Joe's eye patch? I mean, what 8 year old kid has an eye patch? Did it get pulled out when he made too big a gum bubble and it stuck to his eye and yanked? And why were he and his pals like street kids, but all were white?
Inquiring minds wanna know!

So anyhow, I wasn't one to follow the trends.

Ok..who am I kidding? I was a complete whore to what was happening at the time, except for sports stuff and gimmicks. But one gimmick did catch my attention:

Yes...your humble narrator had a Pet Rock named Stanley. I took my stewardship of Stanley quite seriously. He got lot's of sun, mineral supplements daily, and plenty of "Stanley Time" with me.

He went everywhere with me, when he was still pocket sized. But as with all things, he continued to grow and my ability to tend to him compromised, which wasn't fair to him. I found a Pet Rock Rescue facility in, of all place, Boulder, Colorado. They had an excellent program where he and other Pet Rocks could find fellowship with one another, lot's of exercise so as to not gather any moss, as well as proper educational opportunities, mostly vocational.

(picture of Stanley on my Dad's 1966 Pontiac 2+2)
At the Rescue they could learn how to be a part of landscaping, and Stanley had a particular obsession with Stonehenge, aspiring to be like the stones there. I encouraged his dream in the regular letters I would send.

Time passed and Stanley drifted away from me, off to find his place in the sun...and the live out his dream.

Flash Forward.....

In this homeless adventure I am on, I have an ability to be geo-flexible, and decided to use said found freedom to look around and see if I could find Stanley somewhere. I used the Internet search database: and got a lead as to where he is now.

I drove to the location, and there he was!!! Standing proud and tall and all growed up looking like a Stonehenge Boulder....was Stanley!!! Tears welled up in my eyes as I took in how much he had grown, strong and tall, and hoped he didn't hold my sending him for adoption against me.


Towering over the ground that lies in his shadow! Guarding over his little one's that lay at his base. I couldn't be more proud! Those "Flintstone Vitamins With Minerals" really paid off!

He understood my reasons for sending him to Boulder, and actually felt it gave him the best opportunity for fulfilling his dream. He introduced me to his young charges. one of which is named Stanley, Jr. and wants to follow in his Dad's imprint. We chatted a bit more, and the Stanley had to get back to his duties looking all towering and stuff. I had hoped we could email, but he isn't into the arms or fingers. That explains why I never got any letter back from him.

I promised to stop from time to time, and will do my level best to honor that. But I drove away, a lump in my throat, knowing he is doing well, had found his place and is living his dream, Bold and in the Sun!

Until Next Time....

Friday, August 6, 2010

I Have Faced Down A Heart Attack, Diverticulitis, And Dain Bramage...

..but nothing could prepare me for THIS!!!!!

I woulda let it get me, but I don't have my bracelet yet. Timing is, indeed, everything!

Until Next Time....

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

No One Believed I Could Do It!

There she is! The Conversion Van Of Wonders all decked out with festive lights shaped Tiki-ish, with a string of Palm Trees and Pink Flamingoes to boot!

I have survived a successful heart attack, Snowzilla, a really nasty and serious bout of Diverticulitis, any of which could have taken my life.

Most thought I wouldn't last a month doing what I am doing now.

I have all of $4.00 to me.
I eat once a day, if that much.
Shower when I can.

Blah, Blah, Blah.....

Thing is, I did it thus far. Not that being homeless and all is something to champion, but that I have survived I guess says something.

I should have bought some beer.

Until next time..

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Post Mortem: "Dawn Of The Downward Spiral" Observance /// PreMortem: 1Year Anniversary

It was smart of me to change the name of July 24th's prior monikers. If not it would have been the worst Birthday/Scootmas ever! Instead, "The Dawn Of The Downward Spiral" observance was as melancholy as to be expected.

(On a positive note, this year's "Weasel Stomping Day" was the best since 1942!)

On the eve of said observance, I see in another quarter of the cyber realm a reemergence and embellishment of something that simply floored me. Even my diverticulitis sat up, was impressed by the impact this had on me, reverted to being an "osis" and joined in the fun.

I have eaten 4 times since then. I had to avoid being at Vincenzo's Pizzeria (973-691-8282 BEST food in Budd Lake!) because Carlos the Owner was like an Italian Mom and kept putting food in front of me.


Worst Birthday EVER! Kinda got me reflecting on the last number of months and all...

2 weeks in hospital, 103 fever, I.V. anti-biotics, external drain, pain like I never knew existed.....not one visitor except on the first day when my son came to get Bob The Van Eating Dog and blame me for being sick.

My other son has yet to invite me to see his house after 3 years of being on his own.

Neither have much time nor interest in me at all.

Most of my "stuff" is at risk of being lost forever.

I have less room than an 8 year old would have to sleep in, because I can't get any help organising the interior.

Yadda, Yadda, Yadda...

I have come to learn that loyalty is over rated and given too freely by me. The day was simply miserable.

Westward "No", Not Westward "Ho"

Went to see my G.P. to get the results from the brain scan and blood work, and the results were mediocre at best, but inconclusive. So now I have to see a Neurologist. I also have a Basil Cell Carcinoma on my forehead making a return engagement that needs be looked at. Have appointments and tests through October 8th.

ESITED TO ADD: Had to postpone tomorrow's Basil Cell appointment. No cash, no gas, Next week, I reckon,

Obviously, I didn't leave west on Sunday, July 25th. Instead I get Szomor Vasrnap!

I decided to get a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) adornment. And it's not as bleak as you may be thinking. I am not Suicidal, Homicidal, nor Americanidal. I am simply looking at this mostly logically, even if partially through woes colored glasses.

I have no connections of any depth with anyone, relatives or otherwise. I pretty much just simply exist. And I don't see things getting much better.

I am a mostly spent soul...tired and worn. For 20 some odd years it's been one thing after another. No family to speak of that stays in touch nor most friends, for that matter. I tried to figure out what I had done that I earned me this "price"....this "karma" to deal with. Not saying there weren't highlights, but overall, one miserable thing after another.

Top that off with the stuff I did to myself...choices...directions..etc., and it's a bit of a load.

Then the fall of 2007 something changed in a big way. Things I had nurtured, learned, encouraged, experienced, sacrificed for seemed to be coming together in a BIG way. And as it led into the new year and beyond, I thought maybe the cloud has lifted and I can count on things being at least o.k.

02/16/08 The Acceleration Of The Downward Spiral!

It all came crashing down that day. What gave me my very breath was yanked away and an hour later, my bar sink in the basement flooded out sewage. A metaphor for my existence.

A new business I was developing with my lawyer on started to go south and the basement flooded once again.

Add an invasion in to my laptop, some rather soul scorching revelations, and the months of February and March 2008 became, and remain, the worst two months of my life. Thus, my first attempt at a successful heart attack. It was at that point I decided to give up the fight for the house.

I also gave up on my fortunes changing. Sure I danced with the idea of heading west and finding my life's completion, but that fairy tale left with the road blocks thrown at me, keeping me here in the Garden State.

On the physical side, there is a history of strokes on both sides of my family. My Dad had one in his 50's that left him unable to speak for the most part. My maternal grandmother had one in her 40's and my mom one in her 60's or 70's.

The doctor thinks I have had a couple of small strokes. She wants me on meds for the rest of my life. She wants me to quit smoking. (I actually toyed with that one, but changed my mind) My vision changes moment by moment. Sometimes I have trouble understanding what people say to me. My memory which had been all but photographic slips away from me. Living in the Conversion Van Of Wonders and losing the house is the least of it. Really, that is hardly a factor. It's the other stuff that impacts.

No connections.

No family.

No future.

13 years spent building a structure, only to be evicted and the architecture deeded elswhere.


I won't take my own life, but I did figure out a pretty spectacular way to do so if inclined. Murder is a cardinal sin...even if the life one takes is one's own. I want to go to Heaven. I want the condo in the clouds with a view and cable. Thus, I won't take my life. However, I won't let anyone save it.

I had my chances with the unsuccessful and successful heart attacks as well as the diverticulitis. Thing is, death scared me like you wouldn't believe. Thus, I sought treatment. I had delusions of moving on with my life, that I finally accept is simply not going to happen. I don't fear it anymore.

Turns out I have to create a Living Will and get it registered. Nice thing is I can change my mind later, if things become worthwhile. Hope springs eternal, no?

In the interest of staying "Green", I thought I'd look for a used DNR bracelet. I mean, how much wear and tear could one of those really have? If it's message is heeded at an opportune time, it's a "use once" thing. Kinda like condoms and diapers!

SIDETRACK: I saw the VERY best marketing for condoms in a store once. There was a huge display of different types and makes right next a LONG aisle of diapers and baby products. Makes one think and consider, no? many people would consider a DNR item a family heirloom? I can hear the conversation now......

Drew Peterson: Hey sweetie, I got something for you...

Wife #5: For me? Oh really? Let me see, let me see....

DR: It was my grandfather's. He wore it everyday. Kathleen wore it for a little while, but I want you to have it. Here...

W5: D...N..R.....DNR...What does DNR mean?

DR: It's Aramaic for "I Love You" Granddad was into dead But we'll pretend the "D" stands for Drew!

W5: Oh sweetie....I love you, too! But I must head out. Going to my mom's today, you know.

DP: Yes, I remembered. By the way, I adjusted the brakes and the transmission. No sense paying someone else to do it, when I know best how to keep my pumpkin safe on the road!

W5: You sweet thing, I love you!

DP: DNR sweetie, DNR! use. Of course if some company makes these like underoos or band aids with your fav cartoon character on it, maybe ariel or Spiderman, I'd get one of those instead.

August 4th, 2010: One Year Anniversary Life In A Van

Will be a year tomorrow, as of this writing. And again, I see a shift in the aforementioned corner of the net. Stuck here again until October, and again plan to be south for the winter. We'll see. Seems the powers that be mean to keep me here no matter what.

With my luck, the DNR will come into play when someone leaning or kneeling over me while I'm out of it, will only speak Aramaic!

Until next time... when I point out some positives around me.