Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Quick Update

I am S I C K!!!! Some kinda flu just hammered me when I woke up this morning. I never get "sneezy" colds or flu, but not this time. Been non-stop.

I moved across a median and pulled out the generator. I had to keep warm and reduce my gas use. In a day and a half, JUST keeping warm and one 20 or so mile round trip....$80.00!!

Aforementioned round trip....to the dentist. 4 hours in the chair...one root canal and one cap...one post for a crown. I was quite spent to be sure.

Coming Up: Thursday with G.P. for a check up and look at something I have growing on a knuckle. Then Friday back to the Dentist and 2 root canals.

Bob The Formerly Van Eating Dog stopped by and looks great. Pics coming.

Saw an Opthomologist and my eyes are healthy, although getting long in the tooth. I need Bi-Focals! Bleh! I used to have 20/15 vision.

I had been living in the front part of The Conversion Van Of Wonders and could surf, but not really type. I was pretty scrunched up and could only use single fingers while my arms were back, looking like a T-Rex.

Will post more later....

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Seems The Glass Has a Hole!

This morning I was voted off the island...completely! Two of Mt. Olive's Finest came by to deliver the news. These are both guys I know and two very nice professionals.

It was strictly business.

Seems that the Bully From Bentonville pushed the issue and I was told I am banned from the parking lot completely. They said I broke the agreement. Here are the tenets of said announcement.

1. Out during the day. No specific time given.

There you go.

I was out during the day Monday and Tuesday. Yesterday was raining and I asked the store manager if I could stay for that day.

I have 2 appointments today and am out of the lot now. I would have been out by 10 A.M. with or without said "nudge".

Look, the folks here, with one VERY recent exception, have been great. Even when the blizzards came, one guy of the plow team plowed meticulously around The Conversion Van Of Wonders.

Aside from that one notable exception I'll call "H" it's been amiable.


.... a carpetbagger with no view of the community. Not saying I don't have detractors, but by and large people know me, like me, support me. Just yesterday I went and helped a couple of ladies who ran out of gas to help them on their way, not asking for nor expecting anything in return.

It matters not to that person that I have distinct permission from one other tenant with rights to that lot, as well as one other with no objection to me being there.

Just being a bully. And my sense is "H" wants to be bagman in chief with loftier goals regards ladder de' corporate.

So your humble narrator knows not what he shall do nor go. It is what it is. The night is the problem, and safety the concern. Fortunately we aren't having really cold weather, so not using the generator is less of a problem that would have been a week ago.

Let's hope the weather holds.

Understand, WalMart is still my favorite store in the world. I won't stop buying things there, nor inclined to besmirch the company in total.

I am not expecting this particular post to accomplish anything really, just letting my followers know about my day to day, and maybe venting just a bit. I have a lawyer on speed dial that I've already spoken with. He's working on it.

Will keep y'all posted.

Until next time...

Sunday, March 13, 2011

I Am A "Half Full" Kinda Guy!

I WILL finish the "Thank You" thread in the next couple of days. Some new doin's here at Camp Scooter- South.

For starters, I have picked May 15th for my departure date to head west. and, wouldn't you know it, it's a Sunday with a preceding Friday The 13th.

Lucky me!

Secondly, The Home Of Falling Prices has selected tomorrow, March 14th, as the departure date for daytime activities of yours truly. I am welcome to sleep here, but during the day they asked I find something else to do.

Here's the thing.....

WalMart has been great to me! Being able to get out of The Conversion Van Of Wonders and walk a few hundred feet to get pretty much anything I need is great! I have great daytime visibility where I sit and meet some really nice people.

So before anyone says anything negative.....please don't.

The young man who came out the other evening couldn't have been nicer and downright apologetic. I hope he got some kinda bonus pay for having to be the messenger. Seems some big wig from Bentonville was not so pleased with the well written upon vehicle parked sideways with a running generator.

C'mon...what's not to like?

The thing that makes it the toughest is the rising cost of gas due to the antics of our Dear Leader President and an over abundance of tree huggers. Toss in couple of oil futures speculators, and you have one very concerned narrator.

SIDETRACK: Speaking of The Anointed One's policies...
The Mid East is on fire.
Japan is in ruins.
The economy is a mess! Did you know that when the regime releases economic, inflation numbers they do NOT include energy and food. Go figure!
And what does Barry focus on?

Playing Golf.
Throwing White House parties.
Dropping "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"

Speaking of which...

I've been pondering the end of this "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" thing. Nothing says "Brilliant Military Planning" more to moi than completely altering a major cultural element of the military at time of war. Great work Regime and Congress! I heard it's been replaced by "Drop Soap, Don't Bend"…but I digress.

There are some positive aspects to the honorable members of America's Fightin' Forces to be openly gay. I mean, think of the barracks. One would come back from marching and maneuvers wearing new styles in combat wear designed by channelling Versache. A G.I.'s tired feet would feel most welcome in boots designed by Gucci while lugging about a Prada Backpack! At the end of the day, enjoy the balance of the Feng Shui in the barracks they call home. Nicely crafted window treatments along with whimsical accents and tchotchkes designed to brighten up any soldiers evening while relaxing to the great music of Judy Garland, Elton John, and Lady Gaga as they sip Earl Grey Tea.

Don't forget the mess hall! The most memorable of meals prepared by chefs counseled by queer eye food guy Ted Allen. Presentation becomes the name of the game, with said culinary achievement arriving carefully placed on fine china to make the meal as appealing to the eye as the palate.

Old Marching Chant:

"I don't care what you've been told…soldiers have a heart that's bold…Hut 2,3,4….."

New Marching Mantra:

"I don't care what you've been told…."Don't Ask Don't Tell" was getting old….Hut 2,3,4…."

Calisthenics take on a whole new look as the Drill Instructors feel the influence of Bob Fosse and Twyla Tharp in routines that put Broadway to shame, all to the sounds of The Village People and/or "A Chorus Line"!

And for what seems to be a great opportunity for your humble narrator, I am currently in negotiations with the Cable T.V. Network "Bravo" for a shot at reviving an old reality series reworked and called "Queer Eye for The G.I." Location for the series would be...forgive me...Fort Dix.

Damn…I'll never get out of Jersey!

(Now before anyone gets all fussy about the above. I was a child actor, started at age 6, and knew what homosexual was, literally, before I knew Santa wouldn't be visiting me after a certain age. I was on Broadway and did a summer tour of the Musical "Oliver". I am no homophobe, and I have the greatest respect for our Military Personnel and pray for them ALL regularly)

But I digress...back to rising fuel costs....

The generator has been giving me some 16+ hours of running time with 4 gallons of gas.

The van will give me maybe a few hours.

That's my biggest concern. As for being voted off the island during the day? May be the kick in the arse I have been needing. I would have preferred said kick came a bit later. I have a fair amount of post-winter prep to get done before I can securely drive towards the sunset. And there are some spots up here I can move to that are obscured to accomplish some stuff.

Plus I feel a cold or flu coming on.

None the less, it's a glass half full. I have a safe spot in which to lay my head at night. I do have a roof over my head. I survived a damn nasty winter, and probably am better for it. What doesn't kill you...

A. Only makes you stronger.
B. Makes you wish it did.

For now, I prefer to live. I am anxious to get on the road and begin my new life. For better or for worse....a fresh start in territory I find amazing. The great Midwest.

Next Part 2 Of The Thank You's.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Because It's The Right Thing To do!

The iconic Wilfred Brimley! Formerly hawking Quaker Oats, now pimping "diabeetus" necessities home delivered.

SIDETRACK: At some colleges there is a drinking game where you down an adult beverage every time our friend Wilfred mispronounces said affliction.

The reason I feature our friend Wilfred is twofold.

A. He's Diabetic
B. He admonishes us to do the right thing.

My faithful followers may recall my Christmas time rescue of a woman in severe diabetic shock, here at The Home Of Falling Prices parking lot. I was the only one who noticed her and summoned aid for her toot suite! Possibly saved her life.

Here comes "The Right Thing.." part.

She never stopped back to thank me. Understand I did not expect any monetary gain from the aforementioned heroic act, but a thanks would have been nice. Truth be told I have helped a number of folks of here for one reason or another, simply because they needed assistance.

I can only imagine our friend Wilfred giving her the stink eye right now!

I don't want that same gaze upon yours truly from Mr. Brimley, thus I have a LOT of people to thank and need to get caught up.

SIDETRACK: It's been increasingly difficult for me to write stuff. Sometimes no motivation, sometimes nothing comes to mind. Sometimes I simply can't bring myself to even think about it. I am pushing myself today, in spite of having a cloud raining regret and loss upon my head.

Since there is SOOOO much to cover, this is going to be done in 2 parts, and I will do my best not to leave anyone or anything out.

Ok....going back to the storage deal....

If you recall I was going to lose all of my worldly effects to an auction at the storage facility housing them. This led to a significant bout of feeling totally despondent and a plan of retiring my peep hole when the auction took place. I had done a lot of inner work to prepare myself. If anyone doubts that the efforts were not sincere in reaching that result, I had selected a tree on the other side of the fence at the end of the alley where my storage bins were located. The tree was all scraggly and stuff...perfect setting. Truth be told, it would have been spectacular! Those who I shared the specifics with called it hilarious and horrific at the same time.

Always the "Showman". Would have been a helluva YouTube moment.


I decided that if I was to save my stuff, it was going to come about either by my efforts directly or Divine Intervention. I figured I needed to buy myself some time and consulted with an attorney who suggested an end run via technicalities, to hold them off a few extra days. I needed that time for something else I was working on to come into play.

I made use of the advice given and ,MAN, did it ever piss off the owners of the facility. Can't say I blame them, but I was desperate at that point. It was case of hope or rope.

They scoffed at my attempt and the sale would proceed no matter what. My last hope was the thing I most wanted to avoid doing and with whom I had to deal, but it was what it was. I had to make a deal with my personal devil.

That took care of the cash factor and put it over the top. My stuff would be saved, but I was given a VERY tight deadline or I would lose a sizable deposit they insisted on.

Now here's an interesting thing. When at the office, I noticed they had black and white copies of entries of my blog there. Curious, I set out to find what the deal was. So that night I hacked into the security cam system and discovered that none other than.......

...Julian Assange! Mr. WikiLeaks himself hand delivering copies of my blog to the owners, on his way to the pharmacy and then a date.

So what did the storage owners expect to find out when reading the ScootiLeaks documents?

They would find out I have said they treated me MORE than fairly. (Last year on a Sunday, I discovered a leak in one of my bins. The facility immediately arranged an extra bin for me to use and the leak was fixed by not one person, but two!) The one owner offered me suggestions on how to minimize the loss as well as let me get the personal stuff like photos and such before the auction. The end run I tried to pull off was a dumb headed move that irked her a considerable bit and I get it. However, even after that, they worked with me and my stuff was saved.

I can't write anymore today. Will continue this weekend.

Until next time...