Sunday, March 13, 2011

I Am A "Half Full" Kinda Guy!

I WILL finish the "Thank You" thread in the next couple of days. Some new doin's here at Camp Scooter- South.

For starters, I have picked May 15th for my departure date to head west. and, wouldn't you know it, it's a Sunday with a preceding Friday The 13th.

Lucky me!

Secondly, The Home Of Falling Prices has selected tomorrow, March 14th, as the departure date for daytime activities of yours truly. I am welcome to sleep here, but during the day they asked I find something else to do.

Here's the thing.....

WalMart has been great to me! Being able to get out of The Conversion Van Of Wonders and walk a few hundred feet to get pretty much anything I need is great! I have great daytime visibility where I sit and meet some really nice people.

So before anyone says anything negative.....please don't.

The young man who came out the other evening couldn't have been nicer and downright apologetic. I hope he got some kinda bonus pay for having to be the messenger. Seems some big wig from Bentonville was not so pleased with the well written upon vehicle parked sideways with a running generator.

C'mon...what's not to like?

The thing that makes it the toughest is the rising cost of gas due to the antics of our Dear Leader President and an over abundance of tree huggers. Toss in couple of oil futures speculators, and you have one very concerned narrator.

SIDETRACK: Speaking of The Anointed One's policies...
The Mid East is on fire.
Japan is in ruins.
The economy is a mess! Did you know that when the regime releases economic, inflation numbers they do NOT include energy and food. Go figure!
And what does Barry focus on?

Playing Golf.
Throwing White House parties.
Dropping "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"

Speaking of which...

I've been pondering the end of this "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" thing. Nothing says "Brilliant Military Planning" more to moi than completely altering a major cultural element of the military at time of war. Great work Regime and Congress! I heard it's been replaced by "Drop Soap, Don't Bend"…but I digress.

There are some positive aspects to the honorable members of America's Fightin' Forces to be openly gay. I mean, think of the barracks. One would come back from marching and maneuvers wearing new styles in combat wear designed by channelling Versache. A G.I.'s tired feet would feel most welcome in boots designed by Gucci while lugging about a Prada Backpack! At the end of the day, enjoy the balance of the Feng Shui in the barracks they call home. Nicely crafted window treatments along with whimsical accents and tchotchkes designed to brighten up any soldiers evening while relaxing to the great music of Judy Garland, Elton John, and Lady Gaga as they sip Earl Grey Tea.

Don't forget the mess hall! The most memorable of meals prepared by chefs counseled by queer eye food guy Ted Allen. Presentation becomes the name of the game, with said culinary achievement arriving carefully placed on fine china to make the meal as appealing to the eye as the palate.

Old Marching Chant:

"I don't care what you've been told…soldiers have a heart that's bold…Hut 2,3,4….."

New Marching Mantra:

"I don't care what you've been told…."Don't Ask Don't Tell" was getting old….Hut 2,3,4…."

Calisthenics take on a whole new look as the Drill Instructors feel the influence of Bob Fosse and Twyla Tharp in routines that put Broadway to shame, all to the sounds of The Village People and/or "A Chorus Line"!

And for what seems to be a great opportunity for your humble narrator, I am currently in negotiations with the Cable T.V. Network "Bravo" for a shot at reviving an old reality series reworked and called "Queer Eye for The G.I." Location for the series would be...forgive me...Fort Dix.

Damn…I'll never get out of Jersey!

(Now before anyone gets all fussy about the above. I was a child actor, started at age 6, and knew what homosexual was, literally, before I knew Santa wouldn't be visiting me after a certain age. I was on Broadway and did a summer tour of the Musical "Oliver". I am no homophobe, and I have the greatest respect for our Military Personnel and pray for them ALL regularly)

But I digress...back to rising fuel costs....

The generator has been giving me some 16+ hours of running time with 4 gallons of gas.

The van will give me maybe a few hours.

That's my biggest concern. As for being voted off the island during the day? May be the kick in the arse I have been needing. I would have preferred said kick came a bit later. I have a fair amount of post-winter prep to get done before I can securely drive towards the sunset. And there are some spots up here I can move to that are obscured to accomplish some stuff.

Plus I feel a cold or flu coming on.

None the less, it's a glass half full. I have a safe spot in which to lay my head at night. I do have a roof over my head. I survived a damn nasty winter, and probably am better for it. What doesn't kill you...

A. Only makes you stronger.
B. Makes you wish it did.

For now, I prefer to live. I am anxious to get on the road and begin my new life. For better or for worse....a fresh start in territory I find amazing. The great Midwest.

Next Part 2 Of The Thank You's.


  1. I never knew about you until the other day I saw you parked outside of walmart. Your whole life, situation.. Its very interesting. I don't know how you do it but I'm very impressed. Is there something I could do to help or anything?

  2. Thanks for the kind words. If you would, contact me via email:

  3. I find myself going from riches to rags and want to know more about your story. Is there blog beginning that can bring me up to date? Sorry to pry but I want to know how you became a van convert to where you began.

  4. Firstly, good luck to you.

    I would suggest you go to my first post on here. It explains a lot.