Sunday, December 20, 2009
Tis The Season To Be Offended.....
Fa-La_la_la_la....Go “F” yourself!
This time of year seems someone is going to be put off by the mention of the word “Christmas”. They call in the A.C.L.U...threaten a law suit...say they are offended..the feelings hurt...
Could be some Islamist guy...
“Oh..Christ...is not the Mahdi...and no virgins are waiting for me if I take the communion instead of beheading the infidels.”
Or some Hindi Family...
“The baby Jesus...does not have enough arms to be a deity...and is not blue! You want a straw with that Slurpee???”
Then, of course are the non believers...
“Wow, man...silly superstition. Total myth, man...where’s my incense???”
The worst are those on Craig’s List. They want to give in the spirit of the season...you know, old toys with a lot of their kid’s snot on them...free turkey’s from last year...left overs from the neighbor’s Hanukkah celebration. They call the reason for the season.....
This is a celebration of Scully and Mulder??? To celebrate the great work they did in the basement of the F.B.I. building in D.C.?
One can never get enough E.T. corpses to exhume during the yuletide!
SIDETRACK: So if y'all really insist on calling a holiday XMAS, then it should be observed on September 10th. That's the day in 1993 The X-Files premiered. Think of the new, swell carols that can be hummed....
But what really got me to thinkin’ was Smokey The Bear.
Smokey does good work..make’s algore proud. But back in the day, Smokey would say:
“Only you can prevent forest fires!”
Now it’s been changed to...
“Only you can prevent “WILD” fires!”
Who was going to be offended by the word Forest?
Or maybe this guy....Forrest Tucker of “F Troop” fame...
Well, he does looked kinda pissed in the picture. Good thing the shorter but nuttier Col. Agorn is there to hold him back!
Perhaps now using the word “Wild”...maybe that offends this gal:
Hey...looks like she is giving Old Smokey the “Stink Eye” about it already!!!
A dilemma, no doubt!
Seriously...where are else are you going to get a bunch of trees turning into charcoal? A lake? An outdoor ice rink? Inside a mall?
No...IN A FOREST!!!!!!
He’d probably say:
“Listen, you don’t have to send Me anything for My birthday. Just get My name right, ok?”
Merry Christmas Everyone!