If At First You Don't Succeed...

Back on March 20th, 2009 I made my first attempt at a successful heart attack.Turned out that the part of my heart that stood up said "Howdy" has an artery that is particularly susceptible to stress. And when said occurs, will close off a bit creating a T-Wave signature on an E.K.G. Thus...the appearance of a heart attack.

You think I was being a pain to Nurse Kratchet? She had nothing on those folks who had me the first time around! Frankly at that time I had sort of a death wish. I was still in the house but had gone through some of the most miserable experiences of my life.

Honestly....you have no idea!


And during that experience, I pretty much knew inside what was causing the problem. Stress, anxiety, and heartbreak. Yeah, heartbreak. Frankly, I have come to learn that intense "heartbreak" creates the symptoms I endured. None of those, killers be...at that time.

October 5th was something MUCH different!

It was scary.

It was sobering.

It was the real deal.

And what the cardiologists said happened to me...

And what I learned about it on the internet...

(If it's on the internet it has to be true!)

It's surprising I am typing right now.

Because I am not a good typist.

But also because I can be here to type badly. Spell check is my friend!

But Man-O-Man....I was a pain in the ass the first time!!!!


Ok...so I get transferred out of C.C.U. into the Progressive Care Unit, which is ironic since I am hard core, die hard, conservative.

Obviously, die hard.

Anyhow...

PCU was berry, berry good to me! I had a male nurse...can not recall his name...who got me stuff at my every whim. Coffee...food..hookers...

Ok..not hookers...but everything else.


SIDETRACK In the midst or writing this, I got a call from the local STAPLES. Seems I won a $25.00 gift card from there. WAY COOL! One can not have enough office supplies while homeless and living in a conversion van! I asked the nice young lady who called if I could apply said gift card to pay for an appointment with a "working girl" because my male nurse at the hospital where I had my heart attack....the successful one...couldn't accomplish that for me.

She stuttered...and asked if I wanted a receptionist.

No not really....no hookers at STAPLES(tm). I'll get some paper and blank DVD's so I can pirate some porn. More on that later...

But I digress....

The folks on this ward could not have been better. This afternoon I got a call for a survey on how I felt I was treated.,

5 STARS! That traveling gnome in the commercials should recommend this place to anyone who has a successful heart attack.

I asked a nurse...female this time...if I could get some scrubs. When I was brought to the Cardiac Center at the Hospital, I was in the middle of dealing with my storage bin and was kinda sweaty.

I wanted something clean.

I asked if they had shirts for my sons. Ones that read:

"My Dad Got That Swell Stent.....And All I Got Was This Crummy T-Shirt"

None available. And the Souvenir Shop was closed.

So major props and kudos to the ENTIRE staff at St. Clare's Denville, New Jersey for how I was treated...and released. And a special nod to Nurse Kratchet. (An acquaintance of mine who came to visit thinks Nurse Kratchet really came to like me. I can have that affect on people)

Don't forget the REALLY cute red head who pressed on me for so long...down there!

And to the cardiac group who saved my life:

Lakeland Cardiology Center
415 Boulevard
Mtn. Lakes, New Jersey 07046
973-334-7700

Dr. Paul D. DeRenzi, M.D. F.A.C.C. who put the stent in and kept me from going to room tempature.

Dr. Michael Malagold , M.D., F.A.C.C. who explained a lot to me and had the demeanor of Mr. Rodgers and kinda looked like U.N. Ambassador Bolton...which I found REALLY comforting!

Dr. Keith Leibowitz, D.O., F.A.C.C. who had to put up with MAJOR crap from me during the first unsuccesful attempt at a heart attack and was saddled with my follow up care this go 'round.

I could not have been in better hands. When you make your attempt at cardiac failure....give these guys a call.


So I get back to he van....and resume my new career. It takes a bit of time...but what happened to me starts to sink in.

The impact.
The fears.
The worries.

I mean...I start thinking and wondering things I never did before. You read the stories..hear the tales....of folks who survived this kinda stuff.

Then you worry about the impact of the meds!

Now I only had an M.I. with no damage, but still had stuff prescribed for me.

Letterman had a quint-whatever bypass.

And he was still doing all those interns.

I wondered what meds he is on.

I look "down there" and start to worry.

Beta Blockers..Blood Thinners...etc....
What................effect!


I had to know!

Remember what I said about the blank DVD's?


Well..as Gomer Pyle would say...

"SHAZAM"

(NOTE: The Gomer Pyle/Jim Nabors reference is not a hint at my sexual orientation. I never wanted a piece of The Rock nor am I accomplished at doing The Butt Rhumba)

It's all good. Everything hunky dory.

Forget Obama...I create my own "Stimulus Package" for my package.

And if his worked as good as mine does, we'd all have jobs now. High paying jobs.

So now my biggest concern is Carpal Tunnel on my right wrist.

Until next time....